Demo.

I’ve started a new music project under my own name. You can download the first demo I’ve done for it, a song called “Thrill of a War Song” @ purevolume.com/chadsugg

Upset.

I can’t even state that I’m reading a book about there possibly not being a god, without being attacked. Wow. Seriously, this is EXACTLY what I said:

Currently reading: The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins.

That’s it. That’s ALL I posted. I posted that on Twitter, and almost immediately got a response telling me to be careful about what I was saying. And what upsets me more, is that I was sent that response from an aquaintance that I’ve met on many occassions and have always gotten along with greatly.

I’ve always known that atheism isn’t easy. (Literally every single time I’ve mentioned how I don’t believe in a personal god, I’ve been questioned in a belittled way, or verbally attacked.) But there have been many pages in the book so far that mention how people are too scared to come out about being athiests because of how people respond to it so negatively… And now I completely see it. I was scared as hell to tell anyone years ago that I didn’t believe in god anymore… And it saddens me that it’s years later and I still have to be timid about it.

The real kick here, is that when I actually do talk about this subject (which really isn’t much because of the way others who do believe handle it in most cases) I speak of it very kindly… I don’t impose my beliefs (or non-beliefs) on anyone… And I’m open to hearing anything. But somehow, my own belief system upsets the hell out of those who oppose it and they feel like there’s something wrong with me.

I’m just upset about this.

And I must point out, I am NOT by any means pointing out anyone and trying to say, “All of this group of people are terrible and judge me”… I am NOT NOT NOT saying that. I’ve met and talked to many people who do believe that are very very very kind about my beliefs, and they don’t judge me for it, and they don’t impose what they believe on me. All I’m saying is that a select few take it too far, and hate people for being human and having their own beliefs.

Some may wonder why I’d have to post that last blurb… But trust me, someone will still say I was trying to attack them, despite the fact that I wasn’t, and even pointed it out that I wasn’t attempting to twice now.

I’m going to stop now. My stomach hurts from the fact that I know I still have to be fucking scared to believe what I want in this country.

Death.

Up through this point in my life I don’t understand it to the fullest, and don’t want to.
I hate the feelings it gives me.
I hate how it makes me think so much.